Beckham arrives at Spurs

Tottenham Hotspur fans were literally dancing in the discarded heroin needle littered streets of North London after Daniel Levy confirmed David Beckhams arrival at White Hart Lane on a short term deal.

Levels of smug were reaching dangerous proportions as Levy lauded the capture, describing Beckham, 35, as ‘the greatest PR signing of the season.’ Telling press that his arrival will transform the teams fortunes on the pitch and would help sell replica shirts to the far east.

“In Japan we’re just really known fo being Manchester United’s feeder club,” said Levy, parading Beckham like a shiny bauble, “but not any more – now we’re on the map!”

But manager Redknapp was quick to dash suggestions that the ageing war horse was only there to boost the clubs profile and help in the bid to secure the Stratford Olympic Stadium. Nosiree. Reminding press that Mr Beckham would also be helping Lennon learn how to cross, a concept he’d struggled with for nearly four years.