Tabloid Newspapers Do It Again!

The excitement in London’s Fleet Street could be contained no longer this afternoon, as a spokesperson for the UK’s leading tabloid newspapers declared “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!” — signifying a triumphant end to their major combat operations over ruining England’s World Cup campaign.

Unlike past tournaments, scheduled scandals involving the England players have been leaked much earlier in the year, the spokesperson explained “After McClaren had been given the boot and Capello brought into the fold, we knew we would have to up our game”, Smirkingly he stated “Plans were drawn up with definite targets …. today is proof that our preparation and dedication has paid off”.

Over the last month we have seen scandals broke in the tabloids about EVERY Player that could potentially make England’s 2010 World Cup Squad …… all except Stewart Downing, with the spokesperson laughing “Well it’s Stewart Downing ain’t it?”

The mud slinging gatling gun approach to their news stories paid dividends on more than one occasion, with numerous scandals involving England Players.

With the tabloid press once again setting out to destroy any chance of a famous ‘Three Lions’ victory at a major football competition, some have spoken out at the total lack of  patriotism they continue to show.

The Spokesperson completely refuted any such accusation “…. Let me cut you off right there! We’re the papers for your everyday Englishman. If a white van man is going for a s**t – what paper does he have under his arm when he walks into that soiled cubicle? We epitomise what it is to be patriotic! ….. Plus let us not forget who prints the St Georges Cross for people to cut out and hang in their windows when tournaments come around, I don’t see the Observer doing that do you!?!”

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