"You may kiss my feet."

Mercurial Arsenal striker Nicklas Bendtner today told major news outlets that the world hadn’t seen the best of him yet after the gifted striker helped rout Porto on Tuesday night.

Bendtner missed a series of gilt edged chances in the weekend win over Burnley but responded by leading Arsenal into the Champions League Quarter Finals with a resounding 5-0 win.

“He came back with good focus and the same belief – that is one of his strengths,” commented manager Arsene Wenger, “that and scoring from four yards.”

“Some people doubted his ability on Saturday but his head never dropped for a moment, his swagger never stuttered. He never questioned himself for a moment. I saw him winking at himself playfully in the mirror before the game whilst surreptitiously rubbing one of his nipples – I knew he’d be fine. He’s taking it all in his unsightly, slightly camp stride.”

CONFIDENCE

Bendtner himself was keen to down play the significance of his performance – instead saying he was merely happy to put the nightmare of the weekend behind him. The striker told the BBC, albeit with a throbbing hard on:-

“Sometimes it just doesn’t go for you. Against Burnley I kept missing the target with the goal beckoning but tonight was different – knocking home a loose ball, tapping in from four yards and just scoring a penalty changes everything. EVERYTHING. Look at me! I’m the white Pele.”

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