September 13th, 2009
The much anticipated Autobiography.
Fantastical news has reached Crab Football that Nicolas Anelka’s début memoir ‘It’s not me. It’s everyone else’ has bombed horrendously in the monthly book charts, with one literary analyst even declaring it was even being outsold 10:1 by Katie Price’s new autobiography “Touch Me Where I Wee.”
So for those of you unwilling to fork out £12.99 on this weighty tome fear not. As Crab Football has secured a second excerpt from this incendiary read. Enjoy.
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August 11th, 2009
Nicolas Anelka is said to be feeling both ‘distraught’ and ‘betrayed’ after none of his loyal fans turned up on Monday 11th August for the signing of his latest book, controversial autobiography ‘It’s not me. It’s everyone else’ at WH Smith’s flagship store in Knightsbridge.
The Crab has received word that the Chelsea star, promoting his autobiography on a nationwide book tour ahead of the new season, is said to have been cursing his luck that he chose to have the signing during one of the hottest days of the summer.
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August 8th, 2009
Arsene Wenger took time out of his busy pre match schedule to address the hyperbole surrounding the imminent release of Nicolas Anelka’s new autobiography “It’s not me. It’s everyone else.”
As reported earlier this week the Guardian have serialised excerpts of the book where Anelka claims he was hounded out of Arsenal by the bully boy tactics of Patrick Vieira and that he was assaulted in the Arsenal dressing room. An accusation which Wenger was keen to down play.
“There are elements of truth to the story,” stated Wenger, holding his hands up, “I’ll be straight with you, Vieira’s meat cleaver is pretty big. Huge in fact. I doubt a giraffe could deep throat him. I don’t think I can exaggerate it enough to be honest.”
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August 3rd, 2009
The much anticipated Autobiography.
Chelsea forward Nicolas Anelka has the football world on tenter hooks with the imminent release of his audacious autobiography ‘It’s not me. It’s everyone else.’ Which critics are already labelling ’shocking’ and ‘compelling.’
The book, which details Anelka’s rise from Parisian street urchin to World Cup winner certainly pulls no punches, firing broadsides at former team mates from Real Madrid, Arsenal, Manchester City, Paris St German, Liverpool and Galatasary.
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